Marmite Cheese - Love it or Hate it!

Even though this is not a classic cheese, I bought this one with high hopes. It was one of those situations when you inwardly prepare yourself for a rush of enjoyment. After all, I LOVE Marmite, and I LUUUUUURRRVVVEEE [Yahoo! Boom!! Brrrat-brat-brat! Boiiinngggg!!] cheese! (I’m sure you didn’t need me to impart that knowledge again!)

They say that when you eat Marmite, you either love or you hate it. My mum used to find me sitting on the side with my legs crossed and a tub in front of me, eating the gloopy black goodness with a spoon. I’d look up, twitching on a yeast high, “I know… I’m naughty…” my return glance would seem to say. To me it’s like black gold (thick black gold), Texas tea (I’m guessing they drink tea black in Texas). Throughout the years in between then and now, I have used it on dippy soldiers with my soft boiled eggs and in numerous sandwich combinations and it has never failed to improve what it was added to.

My presumption was obvious then. Marmite and Cheddar cheese fused together would more than equal the sum of its parts and create a new British beauty – just like the blue cheese flavours dispersed through a brie-like cheese gives you something like the Cambozola. This apparently is not always correct. Something not so perfect happens when they come together like this. It’s not that I hated or even disliked the cheese, but I would much rather jam a wedge of cheddar and a splodge [good word!] of Marmite into a bun. It is made with a mild cheddar from Somerset and I can imagine tastes very good melted in toasties, but I think needs to be 'suited' in that way. That said, when it was introduced to the British public during Christmas 2009 as a gimmic, it proved a great success, so don't just take my word for it!

That said, it was worth the try, and I would still probably give it a 5/10 on the basis that I love Marmite so much. The cheese puritans out there are probably laughing and saying “I told you so”. Well you win this round ‘pureys’! But some of these new blends give the ancient cheeses a run for their money. And I will seek and find them - mark my words...

Bicaillou - Goats and Ash

I have started to look at pumice stones and Mount Vesuvius in a different way. In fact, if I had either next to me right now, I'd probably give them a damn good licking. I'm thankful then that they are not, otherwise I'd soon have a veruca-covered tongue or a hell of a walk home. I haven't gone mental [yet], but I have a new found fondness for those cheeses that have been infiltrated or covered in ash, and so appreciate it more in its base form.

You wouldn't have thought ash was edible. But obviously some materials cannot harm you in a small enough quantity. Take those gold-leaf vodkas. Surely it can't be that good for you to devour such a dense metal, but floating lightly in alcohol it's obviously alright. And it must be the same when throwing ash like confetti all over cheese. However, going to the extreme by eating your mum's 24 karat locket or downing an ash tray from a table at the 'Queen's Head', is probably a sure fire way for getting the poops (nice!).


Last weekend, I found this cheese at one of my favourite Saturday morning haunts - Borough Market at London Bridge. I love this place. It is a culinary carnivale in which taste buds and nasal hairs sing "scaramoosh, scaramoosh!" and dance the fandango. Having [for a good five minutes] resisted the lusciousness around me and instead settled for the many 'taster cubes' of cheese proffered on wooden boards, I caved and wandered towards the Mons Cheesemongers stall below.

I began to chat with the 'monger' while he sliced off a few tasters, but as soon as I sampled the Bicaillou, a grappling hook fired from my mind and thudded into its side. It is a smooth goat's cheese with a beautifully soft ash rind. It doesn't seem to be as crumbly as some of the other goats cheeses that I've tried - more like a soft grey musky nugget of bliss. They produce it way up in the Correze region of France (presumably where there's loads of ash) so it has a good head for heights. It's a bit of a unique one as well - I have tried to search for it but can't find it in many places. You can always go down to Borough Market to source it or order online from the cheesemongers [update on cheesemongers vs farmers coming soon]. Well worth a 7.5 this cheese. Not extremely strong but some beautiful flavours. 

Oh, and just remember that Bicaillou as a character can sometimes be a bit queasy, so just remember to only take it out in the company of high society. Don't know what I mean then see what happened in the Photo Shoot.