Marmite Cheese - Love it or Hate it!

Even though this is not a classic cheese, I bought this one with high hopes. It was one of those situations when you inwardly prepare yourself for a rush of enjoyment. After all, I LOVE Marmite, and I LUUUUUURRRVVVEEE [Yahoo! Boom!! Brrrat-brat-brat! Boiiinngggg!!] cheese! (I’m sure you didn’t need me to impart that knowledge again!)

They say that when you eat Marmite, you either love or you hate it. My mum used to find me sitting on the side with my legs crossed and a tub in front of me, eating the gloopy black goodness with a spoon. I’d look up, twitching on a yeast high, “I know… I’m naughty…” my return glance would seem to say. To me it’s like black gold (thick black gold), Texas tea (I’m guessing they drink tea black in Texas). Throughout the years in between then and now, I have used it on dippy soldiers with my soft boiled eggs and in numerous sandwich combinations and it has never failed to improve what it was added to.

My presumption was obvious then. Marmite and Cheddar cheese fused together would more than equal the sum of its parts and create a new British beauty – just like the blue cheese flavours dispersed through a brie-like cheese gives you something like the Cambozola. This apparently is not always correct. Something not so perfect happens when they come together like this. It’s not that I hated or even disliked the cheese, but I would much rather jam a wedge of cheddar and a splodge [good word!] of Marmite into a bun. It is made with a mild cheddar from Somerset and I can imagine tastes very good melted in toasties, but I think needs to be 'suited' in that way. That said, when it was introduced to the British public during Christmas 2009 as a gimmic, it proved a great success, so don't just take my word for it!

That said, it was worth the try, and I would still probably give it a 5/10 on the basis that I love Marmite so much. The cheese puritans out there are probably laughing and saying “I told you so”. Well you win this round ‘pureys’! But some of these new blends give the ancient cheeses a run for their money. And I will seek and find them - mark my words...

Blue Stilton - King of the Stinkers (and amazing in pie!)

One of the all time classics. That is, if you are keen on the strong and stinky end of the cheese spectrum.  Soft and crumbly,  this one was made by Long Clawson and has greeny-grey veins and is nice and creamy. Now I love Stilton, but it's so hard to spread. When putting out a platter, I prefer putting out a blue that is not going to have people crawling on the floor as though they've dropped a contact lens shouting "I'm sorry mate, I've spilled Stilton on your carpet!". Much as I love cheese (and blues), I do not fancy my house smelling like socks and bum. I much prefer it to smell of Davidoff 'Champion' and Ribena (but I have done some scoping and I think I will get in trouble if I "accidentally" spill some of that on the carpet). 

My point is, that it is very crumbly. You would never build a castle out of a Stilton because the normans would be in and have a hot poker in your belly-button within five minutes. No, no... you'd build a castle out of an old Cheddar or a Parmeggiano. It would take a six month siege then. 

That said, it is unbelievably tasty and goes very well with other foods. Because it is soft and crumbly it has a lower melting point and can be added to sauces. 

I had a slow and restful Sunday this weekend, and I decided to use part of it to expand my culinary skills and make a pie for the first time. You should know that pie is the other food that holds a very special place in my heart. I friggin love it. Especially the earthy, rich-flavoured jelliness of the pork pie! Boom!!). So as if I was going to do anything else than try combining my two favourite foods!? I decided that my virginal pie experience should be broken in by something easy - the chicken, ham and Stilton pie. It was actually mega easy, and a taste sensation, sending me into a post-dinner trance of combining pie ingredient combinations in my mind - "baked beans and corned beef? Nope, no.....lamb and port?..." It was definitely made by the Stilton - it just added the substance to the meaty combinations with its strong flavour - even the non-blue lovers would appreciate its inclusion. 

The Long Clawson Stilton is definitely worth a try, but try it also as an addition to something else. It won the "Reserve Supreme Champion" title at the International Cheese Awards in 2011 and is a safe classic. Well deserves an 8 in my book. But please do remember (**DISCLAIMER**) - do not use it to build castles or and type of load bearing construction. Take care. 

Martlet Gold - (with harmless mould)

I do try and keep an eye out for new cheeses when I can. I do it when I go round the supermarkets, but I really love it going round local farmers markets tasting local produce and fresh flavours and smells - you find some amazing stuff. Phwoaarrrrr! 


At the weekend, I wandered round the farmers market in Farnham. They say that you shouldn't go food shopping on an empty stomach, and for once, I had heeded that warning and had a big egg and cheese (!) toasted sandwich for Sunday breakfast. I walked round slowly, adamant that I wasn't going to leave with yet another bag of cheese. With a full tummy I passed the cheese stalls, local sausages of wild boar and black pudding, tongue tantalizing quinces and chutneys, and quietly laughing to myself "Hehehe... I win this round tasty food!! Sce-rew youuu". Then, just before leaving, a lonely stand selling goats cheese caught my eye. The blue tractor-ray beam burst out from the cheeses on the table top, locked on and I was a gonner. At this point my brain overruled the satisfied tummy - "well, ...I suppose we don't have any goats cheeses in at the moment". "That is true", said tummy "they look GOOOORgeous and I could really go a soft goats cheese on crusty bread when we get in". And it was done.

The Martlet Gold is a soft goats cheese with a pungent rind produced by Nut Knowles Farm in East Sussex. It's a new cheese of theirs and may look like it's been found in a dirty sock under the bed  growing a new mould friend called Herman ("Hey!! I found my Martlett and...oh....urgh, well....I shall call him Herman!") but the mix of the strong, smelly blue-ish cheese and the powerful goats flavours are such a good combo. I'm giving this a 7. To try it you'll need to catch Nut Knowles Farm at one of the many farmers markets  on their tour, but its well worth a try! Just keep telling yourself - it's meant to have mould, it's meant to have mould!